HOW TO AVOID HAVING TO PERFORM ORAL SEX

When other excuses just aren’t cutting it anymore and satisfying your fling or long term partner is just too much effort and hard work. The below excuses should help keep your head well above the bedsheets.

  • I’m sorry but your pubes effect my allergies

  • I have an abscess in the back of my mouth and it’s bursting is expected imminently

  • I have lock jaw and it could snap shut at any moment

  • The lipstick I’m wearing is very expensive

  • I am afraid it wreaks havoc with my complexion and I have an important business meeting tomorrow

  • I can do it but it does make my eyes water so I would need to wear goggles

  • For me it’s like smoking a meat cigar and I’m currently trying to give up smoking

  • Alternatively you can invest in a neck brace and wear it all the time.

Copyright of Chris Wright & Stasia Buckle

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