IS IT ME OR ARE HEN PARTIES GETTING MORE ELABORATE?
I just got invited to a hen party, which involves a weekend of rock climbing and making our own oven gloves. What happened to good old fashioned pink limousines, groping strippers and getting fingered in Wetherspoons?
The hen-do I was invited to before this one was at a Horror Escape Rooms which has the tag line: Make your wildest fears about being trapped come true – I’m sorry, what? Have I missed something here? I’m paying for this? What a horrible idea. Terrifying. I imagine being trapped like this could wreak havoc on my stomach, I really don’t want to spend my Saturday trapped in a dark room, covered in my own excrement. Whatever’s next? The Gladiator Pit? Come and dress up as a gladiator, drink Prosecco and pin the tail on a real-life bear. Sorry, I now can’t be at the wedding because my face has been ripped off. Give me a blow-up knob and an L-Plate over this any day of the week.
I thought a hen party was supposed to celebrate your last days of singledom and raise a glass to your new married life. Traditionally the hen/stag party was celebrated the night before the wedding. ONE night of celebrations, whereas these days, they go on for days, entire weekends and now we take them abroad so you can complete your bucket list at the same time. Climbing Mount Kilimanjaro, Pole Dancing and skydiving. No thank you. I am very pleased you are finally marrying Brian from accounts but I don’t want to celebrate by having a hernia up a mountain or shitting one’s self in a panic room. I will happily donate some money for you to pole dance off a plane. Alone.
It’s a social marathon as you rarely know all 100 girls who attend and trying to be polite and friendly whilst trying to look sexy in front of a pole or navigating your way blindly around a horror room is fucking exhausting.
According to Hotels.com, they found that the average cost of attending a hen or stag party abroad is £998 and UK based weekends £464. It’s a lot of money to spend on organised fun, which is rarely…fun. My idea of fun is cheap, it mainly involves remaining in a seated position for the day/ evening surrounded by copious amounts of booze and food and a toilet within walking distance.
And let’s not forget the poor souls that have to plan all of this on top of their day jobs and lives and they don’t get paid. How do you hen do?