THESE DAYS I HAVE TO CHECK THE MIRROR TO SEE IF I’M STILL LIVING IN THE MOMENT

Every time I meditate I end up in Costcutter.

I recently lit a candle ready to sit and be present. One minute I’m sat on the floor cross-legged listening to my breathing, the next minute I’m in Costcutter. I unexpectedly got an overwhelming craving for a Toblerone and it was impossible to concentrate on anything else, other than my need to shove a Toblerone into my gob as quickly as possible.

Another time I got ready to try mediating again and as I sat down I realised I had forgotten to drink any water that day. Suddenly I’ve got a mouth dryer than a Lizard’s ball bag and I’m guzzling water from the sink like a dog on heat. I returned to the meditation only to get 5 minutes in and then need a wee. When I got to the bathroom I realised we had no bog roll and I end up back in Costcutter again.

I know mediating and being mindful will bring so much to my life and make me more focused, but what do you do if you can’t even focus on the one thing that will help you become focused? I thought being present would help reduce stress but now I’m panicking.

I joined a group meditation to ensure I couldn’t just wonder off to Costcutter, I made it though the full hour but spent most of it devising a plan to ensure that when I leave I will make it to Costcutter in time to buy a bottle of wine before it closes. Thankfully I didn’t make it.

A lot of the time I don’t want to live in the moment. Like in the queu at Tesco, in a traffic jam or having a smear test. I want this moment to hurry the fuck along so I can continue to flap around in the darkness like a mad woman. I think perhaps if we could fill some of the mundane moments in life with more multi-tasking then we would have more time to enjoy being present. For example, why not get a wax whilst you’re in the doctor’s waiting room? Hair done whilst at the dentists, that sort of thing.

So far the only thing I can say that has worked for me is the App Insight Timer. They have thousands of guided meditations which are great if like me when meditating you end up Costcutter. Other good apps are Headspace, Calm and Buddhify.

How do you meditate? Send me your recommendations . . .

Leave a Reply