After seeing the actor Omari Hardwick awkwardly kissing Beyonce twice on the cheek at the NACCP Image Award, it got me thinking, why are we doing this? You don’t know me and you may never see me again, but here are my hot wet lips lurching towards your cheek and not just one cheek, probably both.
Since trying to cut out the booze, I’m finding myself in Ikea more and more. I knew I needed to kick the drink when I contemplated feeding my cat Baileys so I didn’t have to drink alone again. Since then I am always on the lookout for more sober based activities.
I just got invited to a hen party, which involves a weekend of rock climbing and making our own oven gloves. What happened to good old fashioned pink limousines, groping strippers and getting fingered in Wetherspoons?
If you want to lift your mood, decrease stress and re-connect with your creativity, then I would thoroughly recommend it.
It’s costly having to spend money involuntarily each month on Tampons and Towels and with the added 5% tax we have to pay too, 1 in 10 girls can’t afford to buy them. But it’s not just the cost of the sanitary products it’s also the money that’s spent each month on pain relief, supplements and general stuff to aid us through the hell of The Blob.
One of my new year’s resolutions is to write a daily gratitude journal. It’s so easy to get caught up in comparing and expecting, rather than focusing on what you do have in life.
If the GC can face the embarrassment of stacking it 3 times on TV and make it look good, I can cope with an awkward little rummage down below in the privacy of the NHS.
Sick of Tinder dating? This Valentines why not visit your local park or dog-friendly café and let your dog help you sniff out a date. Below are some tips to help you seal the deal:
I’ve never been to Blackpool so I have no idea what I was doing there. I know I was there because a bloke in the dream said you’re in Blackpool.
Yes, Poundland is now selling engagement rings. I heard it on Loose Women and almost spat out my Lucky Charms.
After too much festive fun and entering this year looking like a camels ballbag, I decided to start the new year with a juice diet and detox, but this is hard work. So you can imagine my excitement when someone mentioned that you could do both in one 45 minute session.
Since quitting the boozing, I now spend more time bathing. At this time of year, it’s a great base to relax, get warm, plan your attack on the world and kick anxiety in the cunt.