Yes, Poundland is now selling engagement rings. I heard it on Loose Women and almost spat out my Lucky Charms.
It was bound to happen, with Superdrug offering Botox, the Co-Op arranging funerals and Tesco providing life insurance, all your life choices are brought to you as you shop.
Roll up roll up If you die before Wednesday you get a free alarm clock. Every little helps!
What’s next? Adopting a baby in Mothercare? A boob job in B&Q? Who knows in a years time you could get married in Sainsbury’s and divorced in Argos all whilst you shop. If only Woolworths had of sold Vajazzal’s next to the penny sweets, they might still be in business.
Today with us all being so busy, that if you were to stop still for 30 seconds your bowels may explode, it’s all about multi-tasking. So now you can pop into Poundland to pick up some bleach and bog roll and grab an engagement ring whilst you’re at it.
The rings are sold as placeholders so you can choose the actual rings together. They come in 4 different colours and with the tagline “Because we promise they’ll want to choose their own.” Is this Poundland sort of confessing the rings are a bit shit so you will definitely want to choose your own?
If you’re so worried that you would choose the wrong ring and they won’t marry you, then I’m not sure getting a plastic placeholder from Poundland is the answer. If anything you may now receive death threats from the father of the bride.
What if you are just happy with your Poundland ring? Does this then suggest you are an awesome humble person who believes in true love without materialism or does it mean you have absolutely zero taste and will probably be getting married at the back of the shop behind the bins?
What if you say yes and then realise where it’s from? This should be your time to shine, showing off your sparkly bling to anyone who will listen but instead you’re the mug with a Poundland ring.
It’s tough in this world today where to buy a property you have to have 6 job’s or wait for someone to die. Paying for a wedding on top of this is difficult for couples looking to live their #bestlife surely it’s a good thing to have one less expense to worry about? Also when you announce the engagement on Instagram you can filter the shit out of the ring anyway so win-win.
Although if I was brought a ring from Poundland, I would at least ask for it in all of the 4 colours so I could wear a different one each week or alternatively you could melt them all down and turn them into a pretty little knuckle duster to beat him/ her into the realisation that you are worth more than £1. I wouldn’t let the ring stress you out to much, it will only age you. However, I’m sure you’ll be able to get a facelift in Homebase soon enough.