There’s only one thing better than making plans. That’s them being cancelled.

I thought I was kind of alone in my joy for cancellations but with Chrissy Teigen’s recent tweet, saying she gets a rush when cancelling plans, I was made to realise how comforting it is to know I’m not alone.

The thing is, it is really important to do f*ck all. It gives you the necessary time to rest, recuperate and avoid exhaustion and burn out. However, telling someone ‘sorry I can’t see you tonight because I am doing f*ck all and this is really important to my health’, rarely goes down well.

I think we need more conversations like this:

‘Are you free next Wednesday?

No, I am doing f*ck all.

Good for you. Enjoy!

There are also people who enjoy not chilling (JONC’s). They get a buzz out of always being busy. JONC’s don’t get on too well with FONC’s. JONC’s and FONC’s rarely meet.

Over the years I have carefully nurtured friends that never want to see me. FODA’s (Fear Of Doing Anything) is great. When it comes to plans, all my friends are flakes and let downs and I love them for it.

It’s never personal, it’s just that sometimes when I have spare time I would prefer to use it to lie motionless a bit like I’m dead. Most weeks are long and I would prefer to not have to move my mouth to form words or pretend that I am listening.

On top of all these plans, we now have Whatsapp groups. This is where 300 FOMO’s, JOMO’s and JONC’s message all day making plans. I imagine it’s a bit like being attached to a human centipede, which is constantly on the move.

The problem is I usually make plans at a time when I really feel like doing that activity. Although when it comes to doing the activity I planned to do back when we felt like doing it, I now no longer feel like doing it at all. I ask the question, how do we ever know what we want to do in 2 weeks, 3 weeks, 4 weeks time? How do I know whether next Wednesday I might want to do f*ck all again?


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